New research suggests that online dating is succeeding at making better relationships – but how much better is it really?
The research, published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences from a survey of 20,000 people who took the plunge between 2005 and 2012, found an increase in marital satisfaction from online dating, but only by a slim margin.
“Such a small gain in satisfaction signals only one possible conclusion: We will continue to experience a very high long-term divorce rate until there is asignificant improvement in martial happiness”, says Troy Pummill, an entrepreneur from Silicon Valley whose courtship with his wife, Judy Day, led the couple to create a different kind of dating and relationship site,www.MagicalMatches.com.
“Online dating has potential to be the greatest leap forward in finding love, ever. But, until online dating goes beyond mere introductions to suggest a new approach to dating and relationships, people will continue to treat online dating like a virtual bar, which is a road that inevitably leads to the same failed relationships of the past. It’s not working. It’s time for a radical departure.”
To that end, the couple has co-authored “The Mirror Effect: More Than Soul Mates (6 Steps to Finding Your Magical Match Using Online Dating)” which provides a distinctly different approach of dating and relationships.
“The ‘mirror effect’ is a phenomenon that reveals a profound, immediate connection that occurs between two people who are highly alike,” says Day. “It happens when you find a person whose heart and soul is just like yours – you think and feel the same, value the same things, enjoy the same things. That connection can lead to deep love, a lasting romance.”
How do you find lasting, deep love online? Pummill and Day offer these tips:
• Your profile can be your most powerful tool – if you use it correctly. Don’t waste time listing superficial, external attributes that have nothing to do with who you are inside. Not only will it look just like a million other profiles, it won’t help your “mirror” find you. A profile should reflect who you are inside, the essential qualities that shape your soul, heart and mind. Instead of “I like movies, traveling and jigsaw puzzles,” write about your dreams, aspirations, passions and feelings regarding your perspectives on love and life and how you view the world. These qualities present a clear picture of your core elements – and anyone with the same qualities will recognize a match.
• If your relationship is work, it’s the wrong relationship. This is Mirror Law No.1. Traditionally, we’re taught that relationships take work, and lots of it. With a perfect mirror, however, there’s no friction and no compromise. Having a happy, fulfilling relationship is effortless. You will likely meet people who are nearly mirror matches, but hold out for the perfect magical match. Life is short and time is precious; be willing to let the near misses go.
• Commit to your search; make it a mission. As with anything you wish in life, in order to succeed, you must wholeheartedly commit to the process: Use a profile that mirrors your heart, soul and mind; date only those who see themselves in your profile; quickly let go of the near misses; don’t settle for less than absolutely amazing. You will find that when you demand the best, eventually, you get it.
About Troy Pummill and Judy Day
Troy Pummill is an inventor, consultant and entrepreneur with 25 years experience in Silicon Valley, where he worked with start-up network equipment manufacturers specializing in network protocols. After a 20-year marriage, Pummill discovered the “mirror effect” during his pursuit of true love, leading him and Judy Day, his wife, to createMagicalMatches.com(www.MagicalMatches.com) and co-author “The Mirror Effect: More Than Soul Mates (6 Steps to Finding Your Magical Match Using Online Dating).” Day is a CEO, patent holder and entrepreneur. She ran a high-altitude hospital at the base of Mount Everest while working as an intensive care unit registered nurse. She never considered marriage until encountering the “mirror effect.”
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