Finding Love in Your Life

(Originally appeared in the December 27, 2011 edition of the Century City News)

by Dr. Gerald Jackson

So many people spend their lives looking for love and finding only unsatisfactory relationships. The problem may be that they’re looking for all the wrong things. If you’re trying to find love but coming up empty every time, perhaps it’s time to look at what you really want and need, and create a plan for finding love in your life. If you think that sounds a little cold-blooded, a little like creating a business plan, you’re right. While there’s no way to create love out of nothing, finding love and building relationships is not much different than building successful business relationships – it requires the same steps and attention that any successful business does. Consider how each of these steps toward building a successful business applies to finding love and happiness in your relationships. 

Define Your Core Values 

The best relationships are built on shared values, so if you don’t know what your core values are, you’ll have trouble finding someone who shares them. What is most important and central to your life? For some, it’s faith, and their true love must share their faith in order for them to be happy together. For others, those values might include outer expressions of interior beliefs, such as a love of adventure or a desire to better the world. Before you can find someone who will share your life and your values, you need to know what they are. 

Figure Out What You Need Emotionally 

One of the most important factors in whether relationships are happy and satisfying is whether the emotional needs of both parties are being met. Every person has basic emotional needs, and they’re not always the same, nor are they always the expected ones. Can you live with a person who doesn’t trust you and needs constant reassurance of your faithfulness? Do you need someone who respects you, or someone who looks to you for advice and leadership? Are you happiest with someone who is physically affectionate and cuddly? 

Put Yourself in Love’s Path 

Romance novels are built on the premise of finding love when you least expect it – when you’re not looking. The plot makes a great story, but in real life, it’s much harder to find love when you don’t actively create opportunities for love to find you. Evaluate your daily and weekly activities and consider how likely you are to find someone you want to spend your life with while doing those things. Would the woman (or man) of your dreams be sitting on the bar stool at your favorite hangout? Are you likely to run into your perfect mate sitting in your office until 9 PM every night? If you’re not involved in activities that put you into contact with the kind of person you want to share your life, get involved. God does work miracles, but it helps if you give Him the raw materials to get started. 

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help 

Every salesperson knows that the single most important thing you can do is to network. Finding love is no different. You don’t have to solicit blind dates from your family members, but it doesn’t hurt to let your friends know that you’re looking and would appreciate introductions to compatible friends. If that feels odd, turn to a professional dating service – there are many dating sites online where you can meet people as well. This goes along with the third step – putting yourself in love’s path. It’s hard to find someone to love if you’re not willing to take a chance on a date. 

To find love in your life, in short, you have to know what you’re looking for, then open yourself and make yourself available for it to find you. 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr. G.E. Jackson, Ph.,D. 

The author of “True Love & Longevity”, www.gejackson.com, a 25 year business veteran, both in ownership and management of his companies. Dr. Jackson is a former member of the United States Naval Nuclear-Powered, Ballastic Missle Submarine Service, from 1979 to 1985. And in 1986, Dr. Jackson founded G.E. Jackson & Associates, Inc., a Century City based, business management consultant firm. In 2010, he founded River Eagle Media Group, LLC a digital broadcasting television network, www.rivereaglemedia.com. Dr. Jackson is also a member of Rotary International, and enjoys being a great lover of life, nature, people, and the positive light in each and every one of what he believes to be God’s greatest gift and creation - Humanity!